The Sky was clear,with the darkness of the unknown in her mind . Walking slowly beside her, in the damp mud road, was her husband whom she was recently married. He was very relaxed, happily watching a group of kids playing at a distance. Her “mehandi” was still dark and smelling fresh, reminding of the excitements and tension 3 days back.
“you cannot help it mom…please stop this”, she kept telling her mother till the last moment, who wouldn’t listen but carry on with beautifying her. She had been crying all night and her make-up had to be patched up twice or thrice to hide her awkwardly swollen face. This was her marriage day..
.. Marriage is supposed to tie a man and a woman together and strengthen their relationship. Marriage in India is one of the greatest events in the Society because they believe that Birth, Marriage and Death happen only a single time in a Life. Marriage is serious business and no expense is spared. Poor father will borrow from local shop owners at exorbitant rates to create her daughter’s fairy tale weeding since banks will not lend them many. On the very first day of a girl child’s birth the event takes its shape. Parents of girl child preparing for it throughout her childhood and most of the time it is being compensated with girl’s education and wishes.Marriage for a girl in the Indian society is not as simpler a task. She has to face a great number and variety of insecurities & anxieties, being helpless but to face. Similarly there are certain fears that keep grumbling upon the would be brides. ” FEAR OF LOSING IDENTITY.” Women seem more frightened of identity loss than men. Before marriage, a girl has a degree of freedom as to what to wear, what to study and how to spend her time. After marriage, her identity is often submerged in that of her husband. She takes his last name, follows his customs and adjusts to the needs and demands of her children. After the initial excitement of marriage has faded, some women become depressed and resentful, feeling they have lost all sense of individuality.
SCARED OF LOSING FREEDOM.” A person is bachelor or single until marriage. once people marry, there is a loss of freedom. They can no longer make a purchase, meet with friends or make plans without consulting the other.”I have no freedom to do what I want. I must submit to my spouse’s demands; if not, I’ll be attacked for being uncaring and irresponsible.” SCARED THAT SOMEONE BETTER WILL COME ALONG.” Many people fear that after they marry, they will, at some point, see Mr/Ms Perfect and feel, ‘Now I’m stuck forever with the wrong person and will always feel disappointed, deprived and heartbroken.” SCARED THAT WON’T BE ABLE TO BEAR THE DISCOMFORTS.” Again, there are many “What ifs”: “What if he leaves his dirty socks under the bed, gets sick, snores or eats noisily, has bad moods, leaves things strewn about, chatters incessantly, withdraws into hostile silences or has other irritating habits? How will I cope?” Each of these fears requires that adopt a new set of beliefs. This is not simple or quick.
Weddings are all about tradition, culture, rituals and of course, enjoyment and cheerfulness!! Amidst all fun and entertainment, marriage is one of the most emotional moments for a girl. Vidaai, a post wedding ritual, marks the end of the marriage ceremony. It is a very emotional episode, when the bride seeks leave from her parents, family members, friends and relatives,her life style,house where she spent all her childhood giggling around, and goes to her husband’s home to start a new life with new dreams and hopes. It is a new beginning for her, as she bids farewell to her parents and goes to build a new life with her husband and his family. She leaves her parent’s home with tears of joy and sorrow – joy, because she is starting a new life and sorrow, because she has to leave her parents for it. The bride’s father gives her hand to her husband and tells him to take care and protect her loving daughter. The ritual of vidaai is marked as one of the most emotional aspect of the wedding festivities. It is the formal departure of the bride from her parents.’According to the Hindu tradition, as the bride steps out of the house, she throws back five handfuls of rice over her head, in a way that it falls on the person standing behind her, as a symbol of prosperity and wealth. The custom of throwing rice signifies that the bride is paying back or returning, whatever her parents have given her in all these years of her stay with them and wishes for prosperity to always flourish in the house she is leaving behind. Just when the bride and the groom sit in the car and its starts, the bride’s brothers and cousins pushes the car from behind, signifying that they have given her a push ahead to start a new life with her husband. After the last car starts, money is thrown on the road to discard the evil”,and the girl parts from her family for the life time. The wedding ceremony ends here,and a new life of the girl begins…